


and the rising pressure makes it hard to breathe

by bloodredcherries



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-06
Updated: 2019-02-06
Packaged: 2019-10-23 06:32:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17678270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bloodredcherries/pseuds/bloodredcherries
Summary: “It won’t be hard on you? Because of Charles?”





	and the rising pressure makes it hard to breathe

**Author's Note:**

> This came about because of the teaser about the scene in the girls' bathroom, I am sure that it will not actually be like this in canon, but I wanted to write it anyways.

“What’s the matter with you?” FP asked Alice warily, as she paced back and forth in front of the desk in his office, wearing grooves into the floor with her heels. Alice had been behaving strangely lately -- well, Alice had been behaving strangely since that daughter of hers had come back into town with promises of a way out of her problems, and being Alice, she had so  _ shockingly _ fallen for the tale that Polly had spun, and managed to indoctorine herself with a shocking speed, even by her standards -- but this level of strangeness was different. “You feeling okay?” 

 

“Of course I’m okay,” she insisted. “Why wouldn’t I be okay? Perfectly fine, FP.” 

 

“That pretty boy leader of yours, he giving you trouble?” He took a sip from his glass of water. Alice shook her head. “You sure, Al? You know that I could...handle him,” he offered. “Make him...disappear. Just say the word.” 

 

“No, it’s not Edgar,” she said, as he watched her fiddle with the bracelet on her wrist. “No, I’m done with the farm,” she continued. “I’m fine. I’m sure it’s nothing.” 

 

“You’re...done with the farm?” FP echoed, as he pushed his chair away from the desk, determined to make her stop walking in circles over ‘nothing’ before it made  _ him _ dizzy. “What brought that on? Not that I disagree,” he added, hastily. The last thing he wanted to do was send Alice back into the arms of what he was fairly certain was a cult of some sort because he didn’t think before he spoke, given that he was dubious his decision to tell her that he was grateful that the farm had opened her up to the possibility of them had been anything resembling a  _ smart _ choice. “I thought you were happy there.” 

 

He wrapped his arms around her, effectively stopping her in her tracks, and she stiffened somewhat, before she allowed him to hold her. 

 

“I don’t...I can’t...I think I screwed up,” she stammered. “I already lost  _ one _ child to the farm, I don’t want to lose  _ two _ and Elizabeth is seeking comfort in her  _ serial killer _ father because I just completely lost control of my senses, and you’re going to  _ hate _ me and--” 

 

“I don’t think that I could  _ ever _ hate you, Alice,” he whispered, taking her into his arms fully, and he chanced pressing a kiss to the top of her head, not wanting to upset her, but wanting to try to comfort her. “God knows I spent 25 years trying to hate you, and it never got me anywhere. You were always better at that aspect of our relationship.” 

 

“No, you will,” she whispered, her voice nearly too soft for him to hear, as she buried her face against his shirt. “You  _ finally _ have a chance to start fresh, to be happy, to not be stuck with a burden, and what do I go off and do? Completely eschew all forms of pharmaceuticals and tell you that you don’t have to  _ use a damn condom _ and knowing  _ full well _ how that ended for us the  _ last _ time…” 

 

“What are you sayin’ Al?” 

 

His divorce had been finalized several weeks prior -- there was a  _ shiny _ new custody agreement in place, thanks to Sierra McCoy -- and, though the boy had taken the news that there was never going to be a family reunion with less aplomb than FP would have preferred, the fact that he now was legally allowed to have some form of visitation and custody of JB had mollified Jughead somewhat, though he was personally dubious that Gladys was ever going to let that aspect of the decree be more than a hypothetical on a piece of paper. It had made Jughead happy, and that made FP happy. And, though he hadn’t heard from Alice herself about her divorce going through (FP had been approached by a rather irate Penelope Blossom, who had had her conjugal visits cut by the prison as a result, and the meltdown she had treated him to still made him smile), the fact remained that she was single, too, and, he had thought, nothing was going to stand in their way. 

 

“I think I’m pregnant,” Alice whispered, her voice muffled by his shirt, and he almost didn’t hear her. “That’s why you’re going to hate me. I thought that  _ oolong tea _ and  _ chakras  _ were acceptable substitutes for birth control, and--” 

 

“Alice,” he interjected, as he tried to process what she was saying and stop her from working herself up into a panicked frenzy, which would benefit no one and do nothing to help the situation. “Alice, take a deep breath. Have some water.”

 

“No!” 

 

“Alice, it’s just water,” he said. “What is the matter with water?”

 

“Elizabeth said that we shouldn’t be drinking it,” she told him, her eyes wide. “She said that the river is poisoned, that the water is contaminated, it’s why all those girls were having seizures.” 

 

“Alright, fine, you don’t have to drink the water,” he assured her. “Why do you think you’re pregnant? What the hell is a chakra? Is that another type of tea?” 

 

Perhaps he should have paid better attention when Alice was rambling on about the insanities that were the farm, but, nodding and smiling in all of the right places had served him fairly well. 

 

“The seven energy sources of the body,” she explained. “It’s a load of bullshit.” She sighed. “At first I thought that my symptoms were because I’ve been drinking raw milk, and I don’t think that it was sitting well with my dairy issues,” she shrugged. He tried not to gape. “But then I stopped drinking it, and I thought that would make them go away, you know? But it  _ didn’t _ and then when I was watching our interview on tape after it aired,” she waved her hand in the air, “I noticed that my tits were  _ popping _ out of that suit. Why the hell didn’t you say anything to me?” 

 

“I liked the view,” he admitted. “Alice, you shouldn’t be having dairy at all, you’re lactose intolerant! You sure as hell shouldn’t be drinking  _ raw milk _ in general. You could have gotten food poisoning!” 

 

“You don’t think I realize that?” He watched her pop a piece of gum in her mouth. “Anyways I realized that I was late, and I’m  _ never _ late. I’m every 28 days. Like clockwork.” 

 

“I still don’t know why you think that I would hate you,” he admitted, as he ran a hand through his hair. “I mean, no, it’s not like we planned this, but, Al, I knew that it would be a possibility. I mean, we were going bareback whenever we got a moment alone. I knew the risks.” 

 

“I thought you’d be pissed at me,” she whispered. “It’s not like I’ve ever known another reaction to announcing an unplanned pregnancy, you know?” 

 

“I’m not him, Allie,” he said. “But, yeah, I know you haven’t.” 

 

“I bought like  _ ten _ tests,” she informed him, and she nudged her handbag with her toe, as if to prove she had done so. “I just...I didn’t want to take them alone,” she admitted. “Maybe it’s stupid to even care,” she continued. “I mean, it’s not like it’s a particularly social event, taking a pregnancy test, I just…”   
  


“You want me to be there.” 

 

“Only if you want to be,” she said. “Don’t agree to anything on my account.” 

 

“I want to be there,” he assured her, and he reached out and squeezed her hand, suddenly nervous. They’d gone down this road before, hadn’t they? He’d been oblivious, but the baby had still existed, and it -- no, FP corrected himself, he -- he had been born, and he’d been given away, and they had never really spoken about the whole sorry mess, save for that afternoon in his trailer, before Alice’s whole life had gotten shot clean to hell. “I know that you’re scared, Allie,” he continued. “I’m fucking terrified.” He leaned over to press a kiss to her forehead, and he wiped away the tears that were threatening to smear her makeup. “But, is it really the worst thing? A baby?”

 

“I guess it wouldn’t be.” 

 

“You want to, uh, take them now?” 

 

“I can’t,” she said. “We have to go to the school. You know that.” 

 

“We don’t have to do that bullshit, not if you don’t want to. Who cares about finishing that fucking game? All that game does is hurt people.” 

 

“I’m tired of hiding from what we did,” she whispered. “What evil we caused. What if hiding it is why the game came back, why things are so screwed up? You can say it isn’t, but, we don’t know, do we?”

  
  


***

  
  


“Ride there with me?” FP offered, as they exited the Sheriff’s office, his hand on the small of her back, and she glanced up at him, making note of the hopeful look in his eyes. “I mean, if you want to,” he whispered. “I’ll even let you work the siren.”

 

“We’re trying to subtly break into the high school, Jones,” she pointed out, as she tried to maintain a straight face. “I think that blaring the siren on your patrol car would be the  _ exact  _ opposite of subtle. But, yes, I’ll ride there with you,” she agreed. 

 

“Tonight,” he said, as he started the car, and he glanced over at her briefly before returning his gaze to the road ahead of them. “When we get home? Will you take one then?”

 

“I’ll just take them when we get to the school,” she told him, her tone light. “It’s not like I don’t have experience taking pregnancy tests in the hallowed halls of Riverdale High.” 

 

“It won’t be hard on you? Because of Charles?” 

 

Alice shook her head. It was true that thinking of Charles hurt her deeply, but, he had been their son, and if FP wanted to talk about him, she wasn’t going to dissuade him from doing so. She hadn’t been the only one that lost a child. FP had lost his son just as much as she had lost hers, and not talking about the baby that had once been theirs was a disservice to him. If they were going to be together -- actually, properly, together -- regardless of whether this was a false alarm or not, they  _ needed _ to talk about him. No matter how much it hurt her to. 

 

“I never wanted to break up with you,” she whispered. “If Featherhead hadn’t died...I was going to tell you, I swear. I just didn’t know what to do after he was found dead with blue lips. I was petrified, and I thought...I thought that Hal would have accepted that the baby was his, and would have let me keep him. And, then, when things calmed down...I would have told you the truth.” 

 

“Did you get to see him? The baby?” 

 

“Only for a few minutes. They didn’t want me to see him at all. He was beautiful.” 

 

“I don’t blame you, you know,” he said. “Not for giving him up, not for choosing Hal over me, not for anything of it, really. I was angry for a really, really, long time. I mean, you went away and you came back and I thought  _ maybe she’ll talk to me  _ and then I saw that you were back on Cooper’s arm and you had a honking  _ damn _ ring on your finger.”

 

“I didn’t want to marry him.”

 

“I know you didn’t,” he told her. “Who the hell  _ wants _ to get married while they’re a senior in high school, Al? I get that you were coerced. I know what he was like, what your family was like.” 

 

She sniffled. “I should have at least explained. You deserved that.” 

 

“I think it’s safe to say that we deserved a lot of things that we didn’t get,” he sighed. “Don’t you get that that is one of the reasons why I don’t think a baby would be the end of the world? Sure, shit, it’s not exactly orthodox, but when the hell have we ever been that? The kids’ll have to deal.” 

 

Riverdale High School loomed in the distance, looking rather formidable in the dark, and Alice drew in a deep breath, as she squeezed FP’s hand tightly, memories of the night that everything had changed flitting through her mind with no sign of stopping. She felt her stomach twist, and whether it was out of nervousness or morning sickness (what a lie  _ that _ was), she didn’t know, but she knew that she didn’t like it. It was absolutely ridiculous to be afraid of a school, she reminded herself. She certainly hadn’t been afraid of it when she had worked there as the Blue and Gold’s advisor, or when she had been in that musical. She shuddered at the thought of what had happened on opening night. 

 

“What’s the matter?” FP asked. “You gonna be sick?”   
  


“No, I’m fine,” she lied. “I’m just...remembering things.” 

 

“Nothing happy, I’m sure,” he muttered. “Not like there’s much damn happiness anywhere in this hellhole we call home.” 

 

“You’d protect me, wouldn’t you?” Alice asked, her tone desperate. “From Edgar? From the farm?”

 

“You don’t have to worry about that,” FP told her, his gaze serious, and his jaw set. “I’d kill for you, Alice. I would do it gladly, if it came down to keeping you safe. Whether there’s our kid in you, or not.” 

 

“I don’t really think there’s much of a question in that regard,” she admitted, as she shifted in the seat so she could look at him. “I’m pretty sure that taking those tests is just a formality.” 

 

“Shit, Allie,” he said. “What makes you ‘pretty sure’?” 

 

“Well, I could explain away all of the symptoms until the cows came home,” she said, before she exhaled loudly, and laid her hand on her abdomen, almost out of habit. “But what  _ else  _ would explain two months’ worth of missed periods, and  _ nothing _ tailored fitting me, and the nausea, and my breasts? I’ve gone over all of the plausible scenarios in my head, and this is the only one that even remotely makes sense.” 

 

“What’s stopping us from finding out, then?” FP asked, as he brushed his lips against hers, and he placed his hand on her midriff, the gesture warming her heart. “I don’t see why we shouldn’t find out now, before we get stuck playing that  _ stupid _ game.” 

 

She kissed him, tenderly, and she ran her fingers through his hair. “I don’t remember you thinking it was a stupid game back when we were in school, Deadeye.” She smirked. “I remember we were quite the pair.” She kissed him again. “Yeah, why don’t we go find out? Before the others get here. I don’t intend to entirely relive the past.” 

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“I want it to be just the two of us,” she said, as she ran her fingers down his sides, wanting nothing more than to tear off his flannel and t-shirt, followed by his jeans, and fuck him senseless in the front seat of his patrol car. “No Hermione, no Sierra, no Penelope...just you and me.” 

  
  


***

  
  


“How long do we have to wait?” FP questioned, feeling very overwhelmed, and very nervous, even though he wasn’t the one that was majorly affected by the results of the tests. Alice was going to be the one that carried the baby -- if there was a baby -- around for nine months, and experience all the symptoms, not him. He was, at most, going to fulfill the role of being a doting dad. “Al?”

 

“Just a couple minutes,” she told him. “Thank you for being here with me.”

 

“I wish I had been here, before,” he said honestly, as he looked around the girls’ bathroom, wondering what it had been like 25 years ago, the first time that Alice had taken a pregnancy test because of him. “Can you imagine Featherhead’s face if I had been?” 

 

Alice giggled. “That’s not very funny,” she protested, though he could tell it wasn’t entirely sincere. “He would have flipped his lid.”

 

“We probably would have  _ never _ gotten out of detention,” he said. “Weekday, Saturday, in school…” 

 

“It would have been worth it, though,” she admitted. “I don’t know if I can ever forgive myself for what happened.” 

 

He hopped off the radiator he’d been sitting on and crossed the room to the sinks, and gave her a hug, being careful as to not hurt her, or their potential baby. “I still love you,” he whispered. “No matter if you never forgive yourself.” 

 

“You love me?” 

 

“Yeah,” he said. “Especially now.” 

 

“FP, I--I love you, too,” she whispered, her eyes about the size of dinner plates, and he wondered when the last time Alice felt loved was. He wasn’t sure if Hal had ever loved her. He didn’t want to know. “No matter what the test results are, I love you.” 

 

“I know, babe.” He did know that Alice loved him. It was obvious, no matter how much she tried to hide it, or pretend that she was only into their relationship for the sex. “What is it?” 

 

“It’s positive.” 

 

“You’re -- you’re sure?” 

 

“Yes,” she said, and she brandished the stick in his face. “What does that word say to you?” 

 

“We’re having a baby? We’re having a baby!” 

 

“Shh, keep your voice down,” she admonished. “Who knows when those idiots will get here? Do you really want everyone knowing about this now? We have to tell our children first.” 

 

FP had to admit Alice had a point. He could do with the majority of the Midnight Club never knowing that he and Alice were having a baby together, considering he could barely stand the sight of the majority of them. He didn’t trust them further than he could throw them. The exception was Fred, and who knew whether he could keep a secret or not. 

 

He pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Can we keep this?” 

 

“You want to?” He nodded. “Oh, alright.” She smiled up at him. “You’re really okay with this?” 

 

“Yeah, Allie, I am.” 

 

“Yeah, I am, too.” 


End file.
